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So, I used to be a Hunter, persay(still am of sorts just not quite the same skill set as before) and I tended to hunt things that go bump in the night. You know, Demons(hahaha), Vampires, Werewolves, etc. etc.  Unlike some other hunters though I only hunted the ones that were prone to harming others with no good reason behind it. Y'know, that bad ones. 

Well. during one of these hunts I had just successfuly hunted and population controlled what I thought was a Succubus.  Afterwards I drove out to the desert to meet up with my then employer, whom I.. needless to say ended up also population controlling after I found out she was had a large hand in "farming" and "flesh trade" if you know what I mean.

Trafficking, Selling Slaves, etc. That kind of flesh trade, get your mind out of the gutter!

She likes to go by the name "Ms. Jackson" by the way.

Well not too long afterward I decided to finally go out and have a few celebratory drinks afterward, feeling pretty good

about aiding in putting a damper on this group's people peddling.  At the bar I met this incredibly gorgeous woman.  We drank, we danced the night away, we went back to her place, and....

She turned out to be some kind of cosmic tentacle monster(A "Beholder" from what I was told) and she ended up killing me.  At any other time I likely would have killed her or managed to at least escape but apparently Beholders are able to nullify magic and I kinda coulda used it that night.

Always been one to say "Don't Threaten Me With a Good Time".

Anyways, I die and after doing everything I can(which was moot) to try not to crossover since, yanno, I kinda wanted revenge? I end up crossing over anyways.  After the strings(more like ropes) that tried to pull me to Purgatory failed to do so. I finally make it to the gates of heaven(it's really more like a regular wooden door, but still.). As i'm standing there, basking in the beauty of eternity..  suddenly a trapdoor opens up and I wind up in Hell.  Apparently there's a time limit for anyone standing there gawking at the light.  Maybe there was something to everyone telling Carol Anne not to go into the light.

That or i'm really hated in the afterlife.

"This is Gospel", afterall.

So while i'm in hell. Am I tortured?  No. Am I damned for all of eternity? Nope.  Satan, The Devil, Lucifer, whoever the fuck runs that place decided to turn me into a Demon and join his ranks.  That was.. until the two of us were talking over Smoothies(Love the Mango-Pineapple ones, you should try them some time.) and playing Foosball when it turns out he too had some kind of beef with this Tentacle Hentai chic I had the misfortune of going home with.

So after another game of foosball(I totally pwned dat ass by the way) and more Mango-Pineapple Smoothies, the Dark Lord decided to send me back with a new body and all the powers and perks that come with now being a Demon, or Half-Demon or something.

Call it the "Emperor's New Clothes".

Now that i'd returned, I had to make up some bullshit story to the media about how I decided to take a trek through the Utah Desert and after a cave-in got stuck inside of a Mesa's Cave living off of what i'd brought with me and whatever water trickled in, along with snails and scorpions.  Thank Satan, The Devil, Lucfier, The Lord of Darkness,(I just call him "Lukenasty") that part of my talents involve shapeshifting to a point. Had to make myself look the part, emaciated and shit.

Anyways, once I returned it was back to the music biz, gotta keep up appearances and all ontop of the fact that the people I meet make for good information brokers at times. Unfortunately the fact that she can change forms like Mystique from X-Men but in a more gruesome way(this explains why one of the reporters asked about my Mylie Cyrus meltdown I wasn't aware about, but damn do I look good naked in Home Depot licking a sledgehammer) makes her harder to track.

Guess it's time to try my tracking from a "New Perspective".

Since coming back, i've been trying to keep a low profile. Like.. Prince(RIP) type low profile. So i've foregone staying at either of my

places in Sacramento or Miami and have been hanging around Snowhaven, Co.  While i've been here i've met a pretty cool cast of characters who've occasionally helped me during my hunts and vice versa.  Even been doing regular gigs at this place called "The Castle" which is run by a pretty cool chic named "Willow". Also found a new watering hole at the "Hunter's Moon Pub" which is run by Dorian Sky and his sister Sky and Tyler.  The people who frequent it are pretty cool and unique too.  Best of all?  No tentacle hentai chics!

All in all with these new found friends and resources, i'm "Ready to Go".

And Needless to say, ready to "Kill Tonight" and every night that brings me one step closer to vengeance.

[ Update to Video Timeline as of 8/22/19 due to new storyline. (Sea of Souls) ]

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And on the most recent episode of "Will Uly get his revenge on the Tentacle Hentai Chic?". 

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I got my revenge on her and everything was good in the world.  Actually no. She escaped me, again and I haven't been able to track her down since. I ended up leaving my friends at the Hunter's Moon Pub and after a few incidents i'd rather forget, ended up with a group called the Aether of Astrum.  They're pretty much a group who keeps the supernatural in check and felt i'd be an assett to them.  Can't say i'm complaining about being with them. The perks are pretty great and the team is cool if a little odd.  They also hate it when I refer to our team initials with "Age of Ultron" or "Alcoholics Anonymous.

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The most recent endeavor with them involved the youngest team member and I(whos codename is The Eternal cause he's kinda stuck being a kid and can't die.  It's kinda cool and sucks at the same time when you think about it.  Anyways we needed to retriecve this artifact key called the "Devil's Key", original name, I know.  They really need to stop putting Lukenasty's name on things without his permission. Anyways, the plan involved the kid posing as a human sacrifice and me being some weird priest who was to carryout the ritual.  Anyways without going into too much gory(and I mean gory) detail; we got the key.

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With all this happening in a warehouse in LA and The Eternal playing the part nicely, I guess you could call him an "LA Devotee".

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Or at least I think these were Ninjas.  They were kind of incompetent and sorta just threw themselves at me.  A knife, a fist, another knife, a butcher knife, a potato with a knife in it.  They were literally just walking into sharp objects.  Also, I have a question??  Who just stands there when a stick of dynamite is thrown at them? Most people would you know... run, maybe? I know I would."

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 And then there was the incident with me putting some silverware in the microwave and.. yeah.  Apparently "Budget Bad Guys are Us" is a thing.  Nonetheless these guys were taken care of pretty easily, gotta love canon fodder.  The problem with canon fodder and canon fodder who happened to be that bad is they're usually followed up by a much stronger opponent.  It kind of reminds of the cheap appetizer you get at Manny's Chophouse before they serve you the Cowboy Ribeye, which leaves you in a food coma and nearing a heart attack.  So at this point Mina shows up and immediately comes onto me.  Now don't get me wrong, she's hot as hell and I wouldn't mind having a romp with her but it was just strange, not to mention I couldn't really resist her.  I also realized my cos-awareness suddenly vanished the moment she touched me.

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I also noticed my demon durability failed me the moment she sent a swift size 8 boot to my family jewels.  By the time my knees hit the ground, I realized it wasn't Mina but it was that bitch i'd been chasing for the better part of 7 years now.  Without my abilities and being caught off guard again, she once more got the better of me and knocked my ass out.  Oh and she took the key.

I guess I can sarcastically say "Amen, it's Saturday Night"

 

I woke up to The Eternal and another member of the group named Churchill standing over me. Oh, and they was missing.  Given what that key is capable of, we couldn't spare a single moment.  We managed to track her down to another location and ended up doing battle with her and her ragtag group of B-Movie Villains.  We almost had her till one of her lackeys who had Temporal powers opened up a portal for her to escape through. Naturally I jumped through the portal just after her.

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Once we came out on the other side, she again fucking escaped.  At this rate I have a feeling i'm gonna be chasing this bitch for the rest of my life.  So be it.  Either way, she escaped and I was stuck in some new world that I have little to know knowledge about besides it reminding me of Water World if Water World's budget wasn't eaten up by things like a small hotel/resort being built for Kevin Kostner's dogs.  Anyways, if there's one thing I learned traveling between dimensions and all, it's that no matter where you go you need one thing.  Money.  The easiest way for me to get that off the bat was walk into the first place I could find an open-mic night that was doing a contest with a cash prize.

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Looks like i'm starting from the bottom again which is nothing new.  "Hey look Ma, I made it."

 

Ah well, here we go again.

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